Lose the muffin top, ladies! On second thoughts, don’t bother.


Awright. You are one month into 2014, so where do you stand with your fitness goals? Ho … hum … which to tackle first—the muffin top or the thunder thighs? That’s the only choice you have to make? LUCKY!

I’ve always had a horror for becoming fat. At high school, I was the girl with the tiniest waist – voted least likely to chunk! I once boasted to a friend who was battling the bulge, that I could shed pounds on a whim; like a magician, I could wish it away sometimes with just a thought!

So here I am, thirty-five years later, finding interesting ways to use the two inch wad of flab around my middle. The belly fat doesn’t bother me anymore. I call it my “Hopelessly Devoted.” It has stuck with me through three pregnancies. Its loyalty knows no bounds. We are tied together. It has me, and holds me in sickness and in health. It resists fat burning crunches, deep water aerobics, weeks on Slimfast, homemade belly busters, and even the stomach flu with the kind of tenacity and will power that I wish I could patent, package and sell. It’s a keeper. I can’t get rid of it — I’ve tried—so I’ve become inventive. I use it as a handy book prop, remote holder, and my personal buoyancy belt when I hit the pool.

It turns out I am on to something. Young, svelte, toned fitness gurus are now saying that some body goals simply aren’t worth the effort and losing the muffin top is one of them.

Yippie! I feel vindicated!

They want us women to toss nasty, unhealthy words like “saddlebags” “muffin tops” and “thigh gap” from our vocabulary. Instead crank out … oh … about 30 or so lunges and power squats every morning. If nothing else, it will get our heart rate up and increase energy. In other words, we’ll feel like honey bees on caffeine.

I’m cool with that. I operate best when caffeinated.

Face it, there’s no way in hell I’m going to look like I did in high school. It’s an unrealistic expectation, see? Kinda like the woman who went to Costco and bought a 50 lb bag of sugar. She repackaged it in clear plastic and set it on her bathroom counter. Every time she lost a pound of weight, she flushed a pound of sugar down the loo. I’m guessing she would have seen results faster had she had done her lunges and squats holding the 50 lb bag. Just saying.

But the svelte fitness gurus have more wisdom to impart. Don’t just count calories, ladies. Calories are good for you if they are the right sort. Think Greek yogurt. Think probiotics. Think Jaime Lee. She is in a committed long term relationship with Greek yogurt. Granted it hasn’t made her less annoying. I have it on good authority that to some folks, the mere sight of Jaime Lee hawking Activia on prime time telly is sufficient to induce a bowel movement. She does fine work helping constipated people – a definite contender for a Humanitarian award. But I have to hand it to her, she looks good for an old geezer. I’ve a strong suspicion, Greek yogurt has something to do with it.

So, here are seven recipes that I created for A.M. smoothies that incorporate Greek yogurt, cleverly disguised veggies like Kale, Arugula and beets, and are roughly 300 calories or fewer. Add on extra protein and enhance flavor using the guide below. Enjoy!

Yield: 2 Cups – one for breakfast and one for dinner
Method: Blend until smooth
Add ons: Vanilla, almond extract, cinnamon powder, cocoa, carob powder, jalepeno
Xtra protein: Almond meal, nut butters, ground flax, hemp, chia seeds, whey protein

Recipe 1: Green goodness
1 stalk diced celery
½ C plain Greek yogurt
¼ C fresh baby kale (or baby spinach, baby arugula)
½ C green tea ( add more if smoothie is too thick)
½ ripe avocado
½ banana
1 kiwi
1 tbsp smooth almond butter
1 tsp almond extract

Recipe 2: Better with Beets
1 medium beet steamed, peeled and diced
1/3 C carrot juice
1/3 C green tea
¼ C Greek Yogurt (can be skipped if you prefer)
Juice of ½ lemon (substitute with segments from 1 orange or tangerine or ½ pink grapefruit)
¼ C baby kale, baby arugula or baby spinach
¼ C chopped fresh parsley
¼ tsp cinnamon

Recipe 3: Berry Nice
1/2 C Greek yogurt
4 large frozen strawberries
4 whole frozen black cherries
½ C aloe water or coconut water
¼ C Kale, spinach or arugula
1 stalk celery diced
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa or carob powder

Recipe 4: Banana blitz
¾ C coconut water
½ C Greek yogurt
4 large frozen strawberries (or ¼ C blueberries)
1 banana
Juice of ½ lemon
¼ C parsley
1 tsp vanilla

Recipe 5: Totally Green
½ avocado
¾ C coconut water (or aloe water)
¼ C kale, arugula or spinach
Juice of 1 lime
½ C Greek yogurt
¼ C parsley
1 slice of jalapeno

Recipe 6: Tropical Zest
½ C carrot juice
¼ C kale
2 ripe kiwis
¼ C frozen peaches or mango
1 stalk celery diced
¼ C frozen pineapple chunks
½ C Greek yogurt
¼ C green tea
1 tsp finely ground chia seeds

Recipe 7: Salad in a glass
1 medium golden beet steamed, and diced
1 small round red radish diced
½ C carrot juice
4 frozen strawberries
¾ C coconut water or aloe water
2 stalks celery diced
¼ C Greek yogurt


2 thoughts on “Lose the muffin top, ladies! On second thoughts, don’t bother.

  1. This is GREAT! Adapting the outlook to be realistic and not oppressive. Keep it up!

    One tip to add, look at grain intake. After looking the book Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis it has put me on to another avenue that may be the culprit to the midsection bulge that you have decorated so lovingly.

    Stick with just good nutrition, ensure that you are getting some fitness goals in the mix and your health will be achieved. Losing weight is just a side effect.

    Clifford Mitchem
    Advocare Distributor
    Nutrition + Fitness = Health
    For information visit: http://www.AdvoCare.com/13087657


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